Poison
by DarkPoisonousLove
Summary: Snow lost another mother, grief poisoning her life and drowning everything in black. The ground swallowed white and red to never let them out again. AU. Trigger warning for suicide.


**A/N: This is actually chapter 21 of "Take a Fall" but I'm posting it as a separate fic because it felt right. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**

Black. Tiles. Cold. Her head hurt. There was something warm trickling down her forehead. Regina's voice reached her through the haze. She couldn't make out the words but the warmth of Regina's embrace made the fear unfurling in the pit of her stomach seem unreal. Later, when the wound on her forehead was healed but the trauma was still fresh in her mind and she refused to get on a horse ever again, it was the warmth of Regina's presence and the encouragement of her words that helped her piece her old life back together.

Red. Robe. Soft. The blanket covered her and Regina settled down on the bed next to her. There was a smile on her face and a book of fairytales in her hands. Regina's soothing voice wrapped her in its softness and carried her away to the land of dreams. There were no nightmares. There never were when Regina was there.

White. Pills. Bitter. The sweetness of Regina's apple pie exploded in her mouth, wiping away the acrid taste of her medicine. Regina was always there to save her from a horse gone wild or the bitter taste of the pills she'd been prescribed. And life was always sweet.

Black. Hair. Short. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was as black and as long as Regina's. And yet, at dinner her father mentioned just how much she reminded him of her mother – Eva. There were tears in his eyes so she didn't correct him. She didn't want to upset him more. She still hurt after losing her mother. What puzzled her, though, were the tears she could see in Regina's eyes. She didn't know what they meant so she ignored them. Her father seemed to do the same. And when Regina came back home with a new haircut the next day, nobody questioned it.

Red. Petals. Roses. Her mother had always loved roses. They'd had a garden full of roses. Roses red like blood. And they'd had a winter garden full of them, too. That way her father could always surprise her mother with a rose, no matter the season. Yet, there were never roses for Regina. The gardens were still full of blood red roses. But the vase in Regina's room always stayed empty. The one time she'd decided to surprise her and had sneaked roses into her room, she'd later found the petals plucked from the stems and strewn along the floor. There were never roses in Regina's vase again.

White. Wine. Weak. The first time she drank white wine she got carried away. She drank too much and it made her sick. Sick and weak. Yet, Regina seemed to drink even more than her but didn't get weak. She was in awe of Regina's strength. Little did she know that Regina was even weaker than her. It was why she drank so much.

Black. Coffin. Grief. She'd mourned a mother once. It wasn't any easier the second time. The sky seemed to agree for it was covered with thick black clouds. There was no sun and light seemed forever lost in her grim existence. The colors were drained from her life and everything seemed so bleak. The only thing that stood out was Regina.

Red. Dress. Bright. Regina looked magnificent in the blood red dress that she'd chosen over the plain white one her father had gone for. If not for the stillness of her chest, she'd be the most lively thing at that funeral. Her funeral. Eva had been like that, too. Alive even after her last breath. And she kept living on in her daughter's memory. Just like Regina would.

White. Diamonds. Reflection. The diamond necklace around the neck was the only thing that Eva and Regina had in common. Yet, it made them the perfect reflection of each other. Both wives of Leopold White, both her mothers, both dead. Homicide and suicide. One was taken away in revenge and the other had taken herself away, seeking relief. And he was sending them both away with diamonds. As if that could atone for what he'd done to them both. They were indeed two sides of the same necklace.

Black. Makeup. Eyes. She would never see Regina's eyes again for they were closed in eternal sleep while hers were red-rimmed and full of tears. She couldn't see through the curtain they formed in her eyes. Not that there was anything to see. Regina was gone. And she hadn't seen how miserable she'd been until it was too late.

Red. Lipstick. Mouth. Regina's plump red lips were pressed together firmly. They'd been so for a long time but she hadn't realized it sooner because Regina had still been able to talk. Just not to speak up. And now she would be silent forever. And how she wished she could be, too. If she'd kept her mouth shut, Regina would've still been with her – not as her stepmother but as her horseback riding instructor. Still, if she'd kept her lips sealed, Regina's blood would still be flowing through her veins.

White. Skin. Pale. Regina had never been so pale in her life. But she wasn't alive anymore. And she wasn't either. The only thing left of her was a ghost with skin even paler than before. She felt transparent, felt like she'd dissolve into the air. And, frankly, she wouldn't mind. It'd be better than watching Regina being let down into the cold black ground.

Black. Leopold. Death. Three women he had destroyed. Two women he had loved. One woman he had doomed to eternal suffering. For she had to keep living. Otherwise, through whom would Eva and Regina keep living? Certainly not through her father. He'd been the one who'd killed them both. One with love, and the other with indifference.

Red. Regina. Royal. She'd been so regal, so stoic, so majestic. Never had she thought that Regina could take her own life for she'd been the queen she'd always looked up to. But the queen was dead. May she rest in peace.

Snow. White. Cold. Unfeeling. Unloving. Unliving. Long may she live.

Black. Red. White. The poison of her life.


End file.
